workaround broken msghdr struct on 64bit linux

workaround broken msghdr struct on 64bit linux

POSIX clearly specifies the type of msg_iovlen and msg_controllen, and
Linux ignores it and makes them both size_t instead. to work around
this we add padding (instead of just using the wrong types like glibc
does), but we also need to patch-up the struct before passing it to
the kernel in case the caller did not zero-fill it.

if i could trust the kernel to just ignore the upper 32 bits, this
would not be necessary, but i don't think it will ignore them...